The Parable of Biting the Prada Apple--Math Reform In Greeley Schools

Last night my brother's child sat down to dinner after her second hard day back at school. She has been nearly impossible to live with all week she has been so excited. She has her heart set on being a geologist-archeologist-princess-rock star when she grows up. We've had many conversations on how important math is to her ideal. Tonight, she was seated at my famous Friday night table. The Friday night where I prepare the most grand meal my strange creative mind can assemble. Tonight I prepared her dinner.

I whipped off the apron and purposely sat her smaller plate down last as I took my own seat.

On her plate was a half-eaten beautiful red juicy apple and some macaroni-in-cheese. She looked at the chicken, rice, raisin, oyster sauce burritos on the adults plates and then at her own. She looked at me--delicate blue eyes seething at amused green ones. She looked at her mother, sullenly, seeking rescue from the strange Aunt thing across from her. No one said a word. She, my niece, looked back at me again certainly wishing I could be transported to another planet where they punish people for putting old apples on little girl's plates.

Instead of disappearing, I sipped my wine, spread the cloth napkin in my lap, and prepared myself for the ensuing game of Torture By Math.

To begin I pointed out to my extremely bright nine year-old niece that the apple is the one she had taken two bites of an hour ago but hadn't finished. I particularly noted this had happened after she had been reminded dinner would be served within the hour and she had proclaimed herself famished and in need of sustenance before dinner. There were other "lesser" apples around the kitchen but of course and they were offered to her. But she fancied the big red juicy new apples placed in the basket earlier that day and made her demands very clear.

I went on to add that the macaroni-n-cheese represented something she would eat instead of the burrito filling she had stood over and sneered at while it was cooking in the pan. I noted gently that I needed to beg forgiveness for having been temporarily idiotic in forgetting that she was a little girl and wouldn't be interested in eating adult foods.

She sneered again, at me, and withered the down on the yellow duckies painted on her plate by pouting down at them.

Now I happen to love this little girl very much. And overall she is exceptionally bright and well mannered. A bit of a Princess in her household but she has the talent and brains to overcome that early branding. Hence, I set out to make a point to my niece, understanding her long term plans laid at such a tender age, that her plate was merely a mathematical equation rather than food. Thus I countered the blame for her plight was one of her own making not mine. And it was entirely because she didn't do the math.

Knowing that math is the one area where this District 6 educated child feels she does not do well I now had her full attention. (She despairs of not making adequate progress in math as much as I despair for all kids learning math in the semi-performing district.) Another sign of a quality child in the making she perked up. A Princess willing to put her emotional temper aside for the sake of new information can't all be a bad thing. Some day I must note to tell her about eating cake.

I proceeded to explain. The apple you have chosen cost $3. When you chose to eat that apple you removed the opportunity of every one else in this house to eat that particular apple. Everyone else, if willing to create a drama an hour before dinner and state they were dying of hunger as you did, would, once your choice had been made, have been left with the little green ones worth $1 apiece.

Now it is fine that you have made such a good nutritional choice and no one here would decry you eating a $3 apple to fulfill your hunger pains. But the problem is that you didn't really eat the apple. You just licked it a few times and took a couple of small bites.

"Do you see the problem with the apple now?"

"No."

So I continued. The problem is that this afternoon when I went shopping I changed $3 of my money into $3 worth of Apple. So that apple now is worth $3 of value. It is my gift to those who eat in my household that they could consumer $3 worth of apple that I am willing to share with them.

"Do you see the problem with the apple now?"

"No."

Again I continue. In making the choice to eat that apple and picking it up you have just eliminated the possibility that someone else here, around the table, could eat that apple. You have subtracted $3 worth of food value opportunity from every one else. Each of us, now, only has the opportunity to eat a $1 apple. $3 is more in value and $1 is less.

"Do you see the problem with the apple now?"

"Everyone is mad at me because I took the apple?"

I smiled this time. No, everyone at the table loves you dearly and wishes you the best. But when you considered taking that apple did you think about the value you were removing from every one else in the room or did you think only about your need to taste that big red juicy apple? Did you consider how the change you made by saying you would consume the apple changed in a very small way the way other people in the room would be eating today? Basically by making a single decision you changed several relationships other people had with the apple at the same time. Did you think about that?

"No." The pout returns.

Well that is why the apple is now on your plate when everyone else has a tasty burrito. So you can think more about how the apple on your plate effects other people in a mathematical way and make better decisions in the future.

"Do you see the problem now?"

"I didn't eat the apple and now no one else can either."

Bingo. You have almost entirely wasted a value of $3 not only for yourself but for everyone else too. by eating the apple you would have gained $3 worth of value and the adults here wanting to share good value with you to help you grow into a successful adult would be fine with making due with the lesser apple choices. It is about always keeping in mind how we effect each other and the world around us when we make our own personal choices. Everything has a relationship that can be based on math. People can get upset when you take value away from their plate, put it on your own, and then prove (by not eating it) you really didn't need that value at all. You simply wanted to capture it for yourself before any one else could. Bad math can start negative emotions flying around a room and doing damage.

To which my niece replied, "I'm sorry. But couldn't you have just told me to eat the apple? It hurts to think that hard."

"Yes I could have. But I love you enough to teach you the type of math skills you need to survive in this world." I replied.

To which my niece's beautiful and very loving mother with all her gorgeous Prada-wear, weighed into the whole conversation, by reaching over, taking the apple, and promptly eating it for her daughter.

The meaning of the parable gained voice when my brother leaned over to explain his wife's actions as he munched a bit from his burrito. "Maybe Greeley School District 6 is gambling that the children of Greeley will not need math and science to compete for survival in the future."

To which I replied... "You think?"